Ever since I decided to change my life by entering the fitness world, I've been constantly bombarded by one main advice: if you want curves, lift heavy. Although I now understand what lifting heavy means, I'm not quite sure I did a few years ago. Let me rewind the tape.
About 3 years ago, when I was a gym newbie, I started an Instagram account in the hope of finding some inspiration and motivation. After going through several accounts and several hashtags, I stumbled upon a few good-looking fit women with incredible bodies and decided to give them a follow. But I was never just following these women. I was stalking them. I was stalking them because I was desperately trying to find the secret to quick muscle growth.
Every single of these fit women kept saying the same thing over and over again: don't be afraid to lift heavy. So one day, I looked closely at the weights they were lifting and finally got a sense of what "heavy" meant. At least I thought so. The following day, I went to the gym ready to ditch the baby weights and start some heavy lifting shit (that was the language all the Insta-famous fit chicks were using). But as soon as I grabbed a pair of pretty heavy weights, my body started shaking. It was its way of telling me to re-rerack those weights and take those that are suitable for my fitness level. Having to go back to those lower weights made me upset. I thought to myself, I’ll never achieve a muscular physique. I'll never have curves. I was crushed. I was unmotivated. I wanted to give up.
The problem with the phrase lifting heavy is that it’s relative. Many girls think that they need to squat/deadlift 200lbs or do shoulder presses with 50lbs dumbells in order to develop muscles and achieve womanly curves. They naturally think that because they see their fitness idols with their perfect sexy bodies doing that.
While you might not think it, you actually are lifting heavy. Just because it's not heavy for the girl standing next to you at the gym, it doesn't mean it's not heavy for you. You are NOT her. You are YOU. You are different. Your body is different. Whatever works for her, might not work for you. Stop looking at her.
You're working hard. You're at the gym every single day getting your workout done. That's passion. That's inspiration. That's dedication my friend. So trust me when I say it will come. Your body will start changing. It's a longer process and you just gotta be patient.
Before I let you go, there's one more thing I'd like to say: be careful who you follow. Although I don't see anything wrong with looking up to someone, I also think it can easily get out of your hands. So what's the lesson in all this? Do NOT compare yourself to others!