Why I Stopped Bulking

Before we get into the nitty gritty stuff, let's define bulking for those who might not be familiar with the term. Bulking, in a simplified nutshell, is a process where one eats in a calorie surplus in order to gain muscle mass. Now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about my experience.

So why did I start bulking? To put it simply, I wanted to grow my glutes. You see, I've been very self-conscious about my butt for some time now. It all started when my ex-boyfriend told me I had a funny butt. You think I'm kidding? Unfortunately, I'm not. It's just one of those things you can't forget, you know? And then you have Instagram. And everyday you're being bombarded with perfect women with perfect behinds. You don't even have to follow them; they just appear on your explore feed. So the question is -- did I want to grow my glutes for the right reasons? I don't think so. I don't think I've truly ever wanted it for myself and only myself. 

I bulked for approximately three months - from September to November 2017. But it's not something I did on my own. I was actually under the supervision of a registered dietician. We'd meet every month and every month we'd increase my food intake. Everything was great, but only until my stomach started getting fluffy and food was no longer enjoyable. I tried pushing through (I really did) because that's what all the fit chicks would say when posting a photo of their perfectly slim body. UGH. Their posts made me so angry. They always made me think, "Do you even know what bulking means? How are you fluffy? Are you talking about your ears? Your ears are fluffy?" Seriously. So after giving the whole bulking thing some thought, I decided it was time to stop. 

I just want to do things that make me happy. I don't want to force myself doing things that completely drain me. That's not how life should be lived. The bulking life forced me to constantly think about food. It forced me to eat food when I didn't want to. It told me not to do cardio, or at least not too much. And as someone who truly loves cardio, it was kind of upsetting. So in other words, bulking was everything I didn't want it to be. 

Today, I just do things intuitively. I eat when I want and I stop when I want. I also started doing cardio again. I no longer feel restricted by anything and it's the absolute best feeling.